Assholes. Whether knowingly or not, we’ve all dated them from time to time. Some of us know he’s bad, but we like dating the bad boy; the guy who is no good for us because some stupid female chromosome inside us tells us we can change him into what we want, into the man we want him to be. Ladies, that is the dumbest fucking crock of bullshit I’ve ever heard and I request that you all stop this nonsense immediately!
You don’t want some guy trying to change you, right? And let’s face it ladies, most of us are manipulative bitches. So just lay off and stop trying to change a man into something he’s not. If he’s truly an asshole, then he will always be an asshole. Period. Nothing you do or say will change him so either accept him as is or move on.
But what if the guy you are dating is loud, obnoxious, a bit arrogant and maybe even chauvinistic on the crust, but he’s soft, caring, warm, kind, compassionate, giving, loving and all of that other mushy stuff on the inside? Then what?
Well, then you have to figure out if he’s really an asshole or if he’s just an alpha male.
This cowboy personality isn’t every woman’s cup of tea. It takes a strong woman, a confident woman, a woman who can take it and dish it out, an woman secure in who she is and what she wants in order to handle a man who is so hot and cold that he leaves you breathless one minute and wanting to wring his fucking neck the next.
So how do you know which man you’re dealing with? Well chances are, either way you slice it, you’re friends do not like him! Like I said, this type of man doesn’t blow every woman’s skirt up. Sure his macho attitude may make them weak in the knees (or wet where it counts), but they’ll never admit it. ” He’s such an asshole!” they’ll say or “How do you put up with that?”
I’ve dated my share of assholes, hell I was even married to one, but I’ve also dated the sensitive guys (ugh!), the agreeable guys, the corporate ladder guys, the rugged sporty guys and the alpha guys. All of this equal opportunity dating that began in middle school has taught me a lot! Here are a few tell tale signs I’ve picked up on:
You’re Dating An Asshole If…
1. He only thinks about himself. You’re needs, thoughts, feelings, etc never, ever cross his mind, nor does he care to listen to you talk about any of it. If you attempt to, he will cut you off and talk about himself.
2. He lies and cheats. Any guy who does this is an asshole. Period!
3. He abuses you in any way. Any guy that has to try and make you feel bad about yourself in order to feel better about himself is a pure asshole. Do not stay with a guy who belittles you, ridicules you, talks down to you, is verbally abusive and especially if he’s physically abusive!
There are other signs, but really if it goes beyond any one of these, what do you need? A fucking beacon and a blow horn telling you to get the fuck out?
You’re Dating An Alpha If…
1. Fear is not a factor. The alpha male sees what he wants, knows what he wants and goes after it. If you are dating the Alpha male, he will pursue you to no end if you are what he wants.
2. He’s generous. He makes sure that everyone is taken care of because an alpha male feels an innate need to care for those ‘weaker’ than he is (don’t get hung up on the word weaker ladies, the male species is stronger than we are, deal with it!)
3. He looks masculine. An alpha male just looks like a man. He’s rough and rugged, not primped and pretty. He probably works out… maybe a lot, but he’s not a juice head.
There’s more to the alpha male than meets the eye. Deep down, this rough and tumble man is all man. Sure he may be a bit too chauvinistic for your feminist taste, but the beauty of dating is that if you don’t like it you can move on to someone else and try them on for a while.
At the end of the day, whether he’s an alpha or an asshole, the only opinion that matters is yours. So fuck what everyone in your life is saying to you! If this man is good to you, makes you feel good and you’re having fun….then so be it!