What I Have Learned from Dating Younger Men

dating younger men

No matter what, every dating story always starts with girl meets boy. In this case, boy and girl have an attraction, excellent conversation, and Oh! That smile, those eyes, that ass! Girl is smitten with this boy…and then she finds out that while she was heading to her first high school keg party senior year, he was wrapping up a fun filled year in the 4th grade! In my experience, dating younger men has it’s pros and cons— whether you’re talking about a couple years difference or you’re headed to Cougar Town.

I recently talked about my experience with dating older men, but there are lessons to be learned from dating younger men too. Lessons, fun and great sex!dating younger men

We see it in movies and from Hollywood all of the time— Mariah Carey’s baby daddy is 10 years her junior. 42-year-old J-Lo is dating a 24-year-old hottie. Madonna, 53, and her 24-year-old beau. Let’s not forget Demi and Ashton! And if we look at movies, who could forget the allure of Stiffler’s mom?

But what is the attraction? Why do older women enjoy dating younger men, and vice versa?

According to experts, the reason older women are attracted to younger men is because as we (women) age, we become more comfortable with our sexuality. In turn, young men are adventurous, experimental and in their sexual prime. That combination can result in some pretty strong chemistry—not to mention wild, uninhibited sex!

While I typically date men who are older than me, I have dated a few younger men over the years. In fact, my very first love ever (one of my soul mates) was 18 months younger than me. (I know it doesn’t sound like much, but I rarely date anyone my own age, let alone younger.) When my ex  husband and I separated I had a string of younger men…old enough to drink and screw, but too young for anything real. Just what I needed! The first was a guy who was all about the bar scene, adorable blonde with crystal blue eyes and a great ass! Barely legal drinking age, I had a few years on him, age and experience wise, but he was a great distraction and good in bed. Plus he really was a super nice guy…when he was sober. There were a few other younger men at that stage of my life as well.

Mr. Navy Man was probably my favorite younger man, I think because he had real potential to be something more than just a good lay and a cute face. He was intelligent, driven, adorable, kind, polite…and mmm could he tear up a bedroom! He had the body of Channing Tatum, the face of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and the stamina of the Energizer Bunny!

It’s not all fun and games though; there are pros and cons to seriously dating younger men. Here’s what I have learned from dating younger men:

PRO—Giving the guy your dating advice about anything can be tricky, but when you’re dating younger men, they seem to be more accepting of advice from their older lover without it bruising their ego. They respect that you may have more experience in a particular area and are willing to accept your advice and suggestions.

CON—You’ll likely spend a lot of time at your place since he either still lives at home with his parents, or lives with a bunch of roommates in a gross bachelor pad.

PRO—He’s less judgmental of you quitting the job you hate to follow your dream of being a belly dancer. Carpe Diem, YOLO and all that, right?!

CON—You can’t relive the fun pop culture stuff from your childhood and teen years because he either a) was in diapers or worse…b) wasn’t born yet!

PRO—Younger men tend to have less relationship baggage (let’s hear it for less drama), BUT…

CON—less baggage also means less experience. You may have to do a lot of hand holding, and I don’t mean in the romantic snuggle sense.

In my experience with dating younger men, I’ve realized that it’s not for me. Sure, they are fun to hang out with from time to time, bang on occasion and great eye candy and ego boosters, but I’m someone who requires maturity—emotional as well as intellectual. I find younger men, while fun, really tend to be stage 5 clingers living in Mommy’s basement and aren’t ready to grow up and be men yet. There are always exceptions, of course.

At the end of the day, dating is supposed to be fun. Dating younger men can bring something new, exciting and sexually adventurous to your life, even if it’s short term. Give it a try! You might enjoy yourself!

Do you have any experience dating younger men? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences!

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  1. You know… looking at your pros and cons, I have to say, it’s all dependent on what stage of life the older woman dates the younger guy. I’m approaching 50 (AND PROUD OF IT) – yes, boys and girls… even Ms. Cheevious hasn’t discovered the fountain of youth… so I could date a “younger” man who is 40 and still notice a difference… But I think back to when I turned 40: I’d purchased my 3rd condo (the most recent a 3 bdr in Aspen, CO), I was a single mom, and I’d been around the block (it’s the phase just after my book)… So I had a lot to say and share, and I’d been through a HELL of a lot. That said, if I were to date a 40 year old, he STILL wouldn’t be able to relate to the music I remember listening to when I was six in the car, driving with my mom or dad, and singing along. But as we age, the gap narrows I think. Now to the question “But what is the attraction? Why do older women enjoy dating younger men, and vice versa?” Well – PFFF – why an older woman would be attracted is a no brainer… HARD BODY, YOUNG SKIN. LOL!!!!! As women get older, the reason younger men are attracted??? It has to be their energy, effervescence, and of course, their own personal beauty.

    • I absolutely agree that what stage a person is in definitely plays a part. I think that is why Mr. Navy Man and I were able to be more than bed buddies (although…mmmm he was SUCH a good bed buddy 😉 ) Even at a young age, he had been deployed, had life experiences that most people his age hadn’t, and grew up pretty tough and with a lot of responsibility. That’s why I say I need emotional maturity as well as intellectual maturity in order to form a bond with someone. Plus a rocking hard body and a tight ass doesn’t hurt, LOL! Just sayin’ 😉

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