The One That Got Away

the one that got away

We all have one, whether it’s the one who just broke our heart or one that we broke years back. Each of us has a “one that got away”, and if you deny it you’re lying (or just have no heart). Listening to Katy Perry’s new song made me think about my “one”.

My one-that-got-away is more of a one-that-barely-happened. I was fourteen when I met Mr. One, the cousin of my very best friend. It was young love at first sight; there was just one problem- distance! We lived an hour away from each other which meant we rarely saw one another, but that didn’t matter to us. We talked for hours every night on the phone and wrote letters constantly. He took the hour long train ride to see me and later, got in trouble for doing it. I can’t remember why it ended, but I’m certain it had something to do with the distance between us and I know I broke up with him. I just remember being devastated and, like with most young romances, feeling like I’d never recover.

I remember seeing him again a few years later and suddenly, all of those feelings came rushing back the second he looked at me. At the time he was seeing someone and I respected that so I never acted on it. A couple years later his grandfather died and since he and my best friend shared a paternal grandfather I attended the wake. At one point, Mr. One broke down and walked out. I left my boyfriend’s side and went to comfort Mr. One (which later caused issues between boyfriend and I, but that’s another story). He needed someone to just hold him and let him be emotional, and I did just that.

Nearly 20 years later and I still haven’t fully let go of Mr. One. Even though we haven’t seen each other in years, we keep in touch on a regular, almost daily, basis. We’ve both been through marriages, kids, divorce and single life. Through all of these life changes and over all of these years, one fact remains– we still love each other and have admitted that we are each other’s “one”. Distance still remains and is even greater now than it was back then since we reside in different states. Also, I have a very active dating life and he’s in a relationship. Timing has just never been right for us, but that doesn’t change how we feel about each other.

So, what do you do when you can’t let go of your “one”?¬†You reserve a special place in your heart where only they reside, move on with your life, and what? Do you never act on those feelings? In my case, the answer is yes…for now. You never know what the future holds, but if the stars align just right at another point in time, who knows. For right now, I am thoroughly enjoying the intimacy of our adult friendship and for now, it’s enough just to know that when he got away, he still held on just a little bit.

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