Every hopeless romantic out there tends to believe in the concept of soul mates: the idea that there is someone out there that each of us is destined to be with. People spend their whole lives searching for that one special person that they are cosmically bound to, the person who is the yin to their yang. But do soul mates really exist and, if so, do we only get one?
I am by no definition of the term a hopeless romantic, I don’t believe in true, everlasting fairy tale love. I think the whole concept is a giant load of bullshit. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in the emotion of love, I just don’t believe in the happily ever after garbage. Like Santa, the tooth fairy and leprechauns, it’s a nice story, but it’s just a story.
I do however believe in the concept of soul mates. I believe in karma, which is a lot more than the saying “what goes around comes around.” Karma literally means “intentional action” and refers to the universal law of cause and effect not only by physical action but also my thoughts and words. Karma is not destiny because your own individual thoughts, words and action define your karmic reactions. Soul mates, I believe, are part of the karmic cycle. The idea that two souls have touched each other in some way over the course of several lifetimes (or rebirths) seems more possible to me than the idea of true everlasting fairy tale love. Soul mates are people you share an in-explainable connection with, whether positive or negative.
OK, so, why am I getting all spiritual and philosophical on you? Well, I recently began to explore the idea of whether it’s possible to have more than one soul mate. I believe I have three and they are the only three people on the planet (other than my kids) that I have ever, EVER said the words “I Love You” to. Those people are 1) my bestie, 2) “The One” and 3) my oldest friend “A”. I believe that these 3 individuals are forever connected to me through the laws of karma and are by true definition my soul mates.
I know what you’re thinking: you can’t have three soul mates! The idea of a soul mate is one person meant for every person. Really?! I don’t believe that nonsense at all! What if you are searching for your one true soul mate and they happen to live on the opposite side of the world and you never meet? What if your one true soul mate dies before you meet him or her? Do these scenarios mean you are destined to be alone or in unhappy relationships because you are missing your soul mate? I believe that various people, soul mates, are connected to us in various ways for different reasons. Each one is in our lives to teach us or show us something different that we must learn in order to be our best self. Don’t believe me? OK well I’ve looked this shit up! According to Debbie Nagioff there are three different type of soul mate connections :
“1. The regular soul mate connection in which we find we connect quite happily and comfortably with someone, with very little effort. We feel we’ve known them all our life.
2. Next is the real karmic soul mate connection – This can be very hard work. You may have an intense like or dislike for that person, but they come into your life to teach you something. A lesson has to be learned and a debt repaid (not literally money!). This can be extremely painful, but is necessary for our spiritual growth. Once the lesson is learned, the relationship has done its job.
3. Finally there is the connection that time never dims. The Twin Soul or Twin Flame connection.
Here there is an instant attraction of energies, the energy of the two souls connecting over time, over miles, and sometimes over years. Very often there is an initial meeting of the twin souls and often one half of the duo is more spiritually awakened and “gets it”. The other may not be quite there, but nevertheless they are deeply touched by the experience.
Sometimes they remain in contact like this, and sometimes the two are “deliberately” torn apart and separated over years to go and work on their own lives and commitments and deal with karma in other relationships before finally reuniting decades down the line. “
So see?! I can have three! I’m not sure which of my three people fits which description, but I have a very strong feeling that “A” is number 3. Our lives have been entwined since we were children (as young as 6) but never quite matching up. There has always been an intensity to our friendship as if we were being pushed together by some external force. We’ve always had this “crush” (for lack of better terms) on each other but our timing was always off, even when we were young. When things are good they are very good, but when things are bad they are destructively bad. No matter how many coincidences keep pushing us together over our lifespan so far (over 30 years, FYI) we have yet to learn the lesson and make our puzzle pieces match up. Here is the rest of the explanation of Twin Souls :
“But are the twin souls destined to be together?
Synchronicity is at work here to bring the two back together again. How entrancing to find the same magical alchemy still at work, just as it was at the first meeting – a recognition of a deep rooted love so entrenched and so accepted, it could only have been forged in other lifetimes together. And probably that is what love at first sight is, recognition of an ancient love.
Inevitably in twin soul connections we come up against the “dance” the connection and the disconnection between the two that is incredibly frustrating, and cannot be rushed. We are dealing with a process here. Within the connection you often find that one party is very keen to move the relationship on to higher levels, whilst the other doesn’t know what the hell is going on and doesn’t want to deal with the relationship, as it touches deep and painful emotions that may have been suppressed. So they try and escape the relationship. The latter of the pairing is often referred to as a “runner”. The intensity of the connection means that each one feels the other’s pain and confusion and there is much telepathic interchange. Both are pulled around by the compulsion of the energy, and are connected by what seems like an electrical cord.
Often one of the pair can’t take the heat in the kitchen and runs away and when this happens, the other twin experiences a bereavement, which never heals, until the next reconnection. The “runner” has perhaps experienced a lifetime of destructive love affairs. Unable to accept love when it is proffered (even though they may crave it). They may have trashed it, kicked it around like a football and found subtle ways to push it away because they have somehow felt unworthy, unloveable, claustrophobic or simply have never found the right person. In these circumstances and when used against the other twin, the experience is like a searing pain through the heart. In conventional relationships eventually the wound is healed, but in a twin soul connection, the situation just feels worse and worse.
Gripped in mutual “obsessive” behaviour the energy can be confusing especially when the “dance” is in full swing. It is quite common for the “runner” to profess language bordering on “I love you,” but maybe it comes out as something else, quite veiled, and then for that “runner” to retract and contradict what they have said. They feel foolish and vulnerable. When a “runner” runs, they run. But in time the “runner” finds themselves in a no-brain situation. They are faced with the choice of living in pain from the separation from the twin soul, or returning and facing that deep love, working through their fears (often unfounded) of possible rejection and reaching their own personal Eden.
For the other party who has been willing all along to go that extra mile, the spectrum of emotions experienced till then is infinite. Sometimes they just believe that the connection is entirely one-sided, or that they’ve imagined it all along and feel foolish and vulnerable.
During the whole process the parties have to remain strong. Twin soul connections never happen at convenient times. There is often the matter of existing and committed relationships, money issues, and a whole million other practical and logical reasons why these two, on the surface shouldn’t get together. There can be great differences in age, or religion or they may live continents apart. Quite often one may be in an emotionally unfeeling, yet long term relationship, whilst the other is in a controlling and abusive one. Both can feel trapped. But never forget, Madam Destiny in her infinite wisdom and effort has gone through the whole process and trouble of bringing these two together, and twin soul connections are quite rare – if you look back on this process you will inevitably come across situations where the two “nearly” met up again, or they were in the same place at the same time, and didn’t meet, or they were working close to each other and didn’t meet, nearly buying a house in the same town, and didn’t meet, until Destiny has chosen the exact timing for that meeting and bingo, it is done.
There can be little doubt that meeting up with the twin soul pulls one or both onto a more spiritual path as they look back and marvel at how they were brought together.
To change one’s life like this takes enormous courage, but it also takes infinite patience. And if you are in such a pairing, you can experience a twin soul connection both as a gift and a curse!
The lessons of why we unite with our twin soul can be varied, but one reason is to teach each other about accepting love without fear, about healing the pain of love and loss and bringing the two halves of the soul back together again. If you are able to look at the birth charts of both, you will often see synastry involving Pluto, the planet of deep transformation, Saturn the planet of rigidity and control at work. Both are very karmic. In deep love affairs, also look to Chiron in the synastry to see how she is touching Venus in the other chart.
Learning to have patience and not forcing the relationship is part of the twin soul process. If you are trying to force your will onto the other person, chances are you’re not ready to really connect yourself. There should be no blame here – only deep and unconditional love.”
What do I know though. I’m just a single girl in a big city. Maybe this Sex In The City quote is right: ” Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates and guys are just people to have fun with.”