Have you ever said something out loud that should have stayed in your head? Honestly, sometimes I think that even my thought bubbles need censoring! Case in point: the ex- ball & chain kissed my ear the other night in a feeble attempt at civility with benefits and I yelled out “EEEWWW!”
Let me back up and explain that he was in my house because we had just come back from our son’s sports banquet. The two of us are on the board of directors for this organization and needed to discuss the second banquet which was scheduled for the following night. We stood in the kitchen making small talk, talking about the banquet and then talking about current relationships in not so much detail. He confided in me that it’s been 2 months since he and Mistress A have had sex. I laughed, said “sucks to be you” and the conversation moved back to baseball.
After many polite attempts to get him to go home, I came right out and told him he needed to leave because I was going to bed. As I stood up to walk to the door, hoping he’d further get the hint and leave, he proceeded to kiss my ear. When he did, without thinking, my knee-jerk reaction was to yell “EEEWWW!” He immediately backed off, an expression of both horror and hurt on his face as he said all he could say, “wow!” as he walked to the door and left.
I’m sure we’ve all had situations where we blurted something out before our brains had even a nano second to process the thought beforehand. But, when word vomit occurs, if it’s the honest to goodness truth, should we feel bad about it?
He later text me, asking me if it had really been that bag between us that I couldn’t “help him out” with his two month drought situation. Since I think honesty is almost always the best policy, I said “Honestly, yes.” I did feel a tiny, itsy-bitsy bit bad about my reaction to his kiss but, then reality set in. This man is in a relationship with another woman and he is somehow under the impression that I will always be there as his backup plan. Sorry buddy, I played second fiddle to your entourage of mistresses for 15 years! This ship has sailed and tough crunchies if that thought makes your battleship sink. And while I understand that he sees nothing wrong with his chronic infidelity, I do. He also knows that I just started seeing someone whom I really like. He claims to be happy for me, claims that all he wants is for me to be happy but, I think he’s really threatened by the fact that I am really and truly happy as a result of Mr G-Spot.
Given this particular situation, I don’t feel bad about speaking before thinking. Some say that when you tell an off colored joke you’re really telling the truth. I say, when the word vomit comes flowing from your gut, you are telling the truth and we should never feel bad about being honest with someone. Sometimes the truth hurts but, sometimes it’s the reality check someone might need.