New Year, New Outlook

sexy new year
New Year
Every New Year’s Eve I like to take a few minutes to reflect on the passing year as the new year ushers in. 2012 has been an incredible, sometimes horrible, but mostly fabulous year. The year started off great; I had a rough spring and a bumpy early summer. Things turned around in early July and in November and December my life has been a shit show! The ups and downs are part of life, but how we cope with them, whether we push through or give up, those are the moments that define our true character.
I took a few minutes today, while writing my monthly post for Singles Warehouse, to reflect on a bad habit of mine: seasonal monogamy– a.k.a settling down during the cold winter months. I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions, but a little self-reflection never hurt anyone. This habit is one I am desperately trying to break this winter, and so far… so good!
In 2012 I went on hundreds of dates with tons of different men, and had two short lived relationships (1 carried over from 2011 and lasted 8 months, the other almost 2 months). What lesson have I learned from all of this dating? What have I taken away from meeting all of these very different men? Nothing. I’m still as fucked up and confused as I’ve always been when it comes to figuring out this whole dating thing. But it can be fun! I’ve certainly met some very interesting people, had some great conversations, been exposed to new experiences and ideas, and enjoyed a lot of great new restaurants throughout 2012.

2013 is going to be a year for me to focus on me, and only me! That’s right, I am going to be completely self-centered and selfish because guess what… I fuckin deserve it! I have spent my entire life focused on what everyone else wants, needs and expects that I have very little time or energy left to focus on what I want, need and expect from myself. This slowly started to change this past fall when I decided to go back to school and finish my degree, but there’s more change to come! Here we are, about to embark on the start of a new year, and I have been successful (so far) at not following my old dating habit of settling down for the winter with anyone. I am still dating Mr. Sports Fan, but there’s nothing exclusive there. That may change, who knows. IF it does, it’ll be because I’m ready, not because I’m trying to keep warm through the harsh Boston winter. I’m going to continue to focus on school, my writing (especially my book) and lots of “me” time. I’m going to focus on projects and activities that make me feel centered and accomplished rather than allowing myself to be sucked in to what people want me to do or think I should be doing. In 2013, my motto is going to be “I didn’t cause it. I can’t control it. I can’t cure it,” for everything that I try to control and change  which can’t be. I have a tendency to want to save the world, but then I look around and realize that no one is trying to save me. You know why? Because that’s MY job! So, damn it, in 2013 I’m going to stop slacking and focus on me rather than on everyone and everything else.

I think resolutions are an idiotic way of setting yourself up to fail, but self-reflection is healthy and necessary to human growth and personal development. As we say goodbye to 2012 and welcome in a fresh new year, rather than making empty promises to yourself about quitting a bad habit or starting a new diet, how about taking a few moments to reflect on the good and bad of the passing year. Look forward to new opportunities, unforeseen challenges and the endless possibilities that lay ahead. Attempt to be the best possible you in 2013. That’s all any of us can do.

Happy New Year!!

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