Those of you who are regular BSG readers know that I am not the mushy, hearts and flowers, let’s talk about us, express my emotions kind of girl. That’s not to say that I’ve never been in love or said the “L” word, because I have; I just don’t drizzle the “L” word on everything! When it comes to relationships and the “L” word, I have a firm philosophical belief:
Before we go any further, do we even know what love means? Most of us, regardless of our single or married status, haven’t a fucking clue what love is or how to define it. I decided to go to Merriam-Webster and see how the world famous dictionary defines the word love. I won’t bore you with the whole definition, but basically love is both a noun and a verb that means to feel a great and constant affection for someone.
I know people, men and women, who say “I love you” all the freakin’ time! These people are typically the ones who also need to hear it just as often. Why? Saying it doesn’t make it true, doesn’t make your love better or deeper than the couple who rarely say it. Are these three words really that important to you that you have to say and hear it every time you hang up the phone or leave the damn room? Please, for the sake of those of us who are trying not to vomit when we are around you, just stop it!
I know, and have been with, plenty of people like this; people who need the verbal affirmation that their partner has feelings for them. The fact of the matter is that half of them are saying it out of habit or expectation; most of them are miserable and just going through the motions.
When was the last time you SHOWED your partner how you feel?
I know women who complain, “We’ve been dating for 6 months and he hasn’t said I love you.” OK, well maybe you don’t deserve it! Sorry, but I don’t sugar coat shit for anyone. I’m not saying you’re not deserving of love, I’m saying maybe he doesn’t feel like you’ve earned his love. (I know I’m gonna get shit for saying that, but I don’t really give a fuck.)
My mother used to tell me that respect is not given, it’s earned. Well, the same can be said about love. If you haven’t done anything to show the other person that you truly, genuinely care about them, then why in hell should they throw the “L” word at you?! Why, because you’ve reached some bullshit milestone in your relationship and all of the dating advice columns say he should have said it by now?
Baby, if you want to hear those three little words you best start putting those feelings into action!
Love is a verb sweethearts! All the verbal I Love You’s in the world don’t amount to shit if there aren’t genuine acts of love towards your partner on a regular basis… and I don’t mean screwing like rabbits either!
While sex is the ultimate act of vulnerability and intimacy when feelings are involved (because some of us just like to fuck sans feelings), it shouldn’t be the only way you show your partner you care. Those every day little things, the random acts of kindness, the ‘just thinking of you’ moments… that’s what really matters!
There is only one way to tell your significant other that you love them, but there are a million ways to show that person that you are truly, madly, deeply in love with them.
Love isn’t about how often you say it, it’s about how often you prove that it’s true.