When it comes to one night stands, of course it’s easier for people to tell you “just don’t do it”, but where’s the fun in that?! If my readers know anything about me they know I’m never one to turn down a good time. After speaking with Laurie Davis, founder of eFlirt, I was introduced to her associate Ashley Parsons. Ashley is the Lead Writer at eFlirt, the top online dating concierge service. She uses her writing ability—and the sass that accompanies it—to cultivate content for the eFlirt Blog. Ashley shared with us some great tips for how to have a classy one night stand!
Everybody needs a little TLC sometimes, but when you’re single, it’s sometimes a pain trying to find it. On those nights when you’ve just got to get it on, you can always call upon that old friend of yours — the one-night stand. The casual hook-up game has changed quite a bit recently. Nowadays, guys and girls can both pursue a one-nighter shamelessly, and technology has become the best wingman anyone could ask for. Here are a few tips on how to hook up and keep your head held high.
Make sure you want it.
Whenever you have sex, especially casual, it needs to be for you. There’s definitely some wisdom behind the idea that you can’t get over someone until you get under someone new, but a rebound hook-up shouldn’t have anything to do with your ex. If you’re having sex to spite someone else — or to validate yourself — hold off. Also, no matter how obvious this may seem, bring protection. This goes for you too, ladies! Condoms aren’t just the man’s responsibility anymore. Besides, what’s worse than getting ready to rumble and realizing nobody’s got a boxing glove?
Know how to get it.
Finding a partner is easier than ever these days with help from apps like Tinder, Hinge and Swoon. These apps are no joke — Tinder has matched 75 million people, and is only growing more popular every day. One of the most kickass things about these apps in particular is that they eliminates the fear of rejection. Users are only put in contact with each other if the interest is mutual, so there’s no chance of getting turned down. If you’re one of those old-fashioned types who still prefers the bar scene and face-to-face interaction, enjoy the chase. A one-night stand is like catch and release fishing: just be careful whom you reel in.
Have fun with it.
Casual hook-ups are great opportunities for experimentation. Because the person you’re with doesn’t know your bedroom style, you can try out some things you were never given a chance to with an ex. Also, if anything goes wrong during your sexual escapades, you haven’t ruined anything the way you might have if you were in a relationship. When it comes to sex, practice definitely makes perfect. Try talking dirty or being a little more dominant (or submissive), and have fun discovering your freaky favorites.
Know how to say goodnight…
Several arguments can be made about whether to head back to the guy’s place or the lady’s, but what it really comes down to is your preferred exit strategy. At their place, you can make a quick getaway; just be sure you’re wearing something you’re prepared to have on the next morning. At yours, be prepared to potentially have to kick your one-nighter out in the morning. A great way to prevent an awkward goodbye is to mention that you have to be somewhere the next morning. Furthermore, don’t be afraid to cuddle afterwards! Although your instincts may be telling you to guard your emotions, Cosmopolitan says that failing to cuddle afterwards can interrupt feelings of satisfaction, and that “you’ll feel less satisfied and more ‘gimme another fix’ needy.” Don’t end the night until you’re sure you’re, well, finished.
…Or when to say goodbye in the morning.
If there is any potential for some good morning sex, by all means, go for it, but when it comes to goodbyes, short and sweet is always the best way to go. A simple “I had a great time” or “Last night was a lot of fun” will do. If you think there was enough chemistry to warrant a second round, “Maybe we could do it again sometime?” is a good way to show you’re interested. Even if it was a one-time occurrence, offer a quick kiss on the cheek, bid your man or lady of the night a fond farewell, and be sure to make your walk of shame a stride of pride.
Do you have any tips to share on one night stands? Good or bad idea? Leave your comments and tips below. And if you’d like to give a shout out to Ashley, you can reach her on Twitter.