Hey Baby, What’s Your Type?

what's your type

At some point in our lives the “what’s your type” question is bound to pop up at least once (usually more) whether it’s asked by a well-meaning friend or family member, a quiz in a magazine or through some soul searching of our own.

What’s your type?

What does that question even mean?

(eHarmony has a “type” article that I found kinda interesting)what's your type

I’ve dated my fair share of the opposite sex over the course of my life and I’ve never been able to answer this question. When I’ve asked other singles, male and female, this question I get everything from a laundry list of personality traits to what Mr./Ms. Right must look like. It seems to me that for all of the pressure that’s put on the answer to this question very few really have a clue on what their answer is!

Personally, I consider the answer to be a reflection of a specific category of person you tend to date rather than personality traits or a list of looks. Do you tend to date the Bad Boy? Maybe you always date the Nice Guy? Do you have a tendency to end up with unavailable guy after  unavailable guy? Do you only date men of a certain income bracket? I consider a type to be if you can categorize the majority of people you’ve dated into one specific category.

With that being said, I recently went  over my lengthy list of men to see if there was any sort of pattern.


In exploring the guys that I’ve been attracted to, dated, slept with, the one I married, the one I’m with now and all of the ones in between, there is no one characteristic that groups even half of them into one specific category or type.

what's your typeI like blondes and brunettes, every eye color has a different effect on me (I’m a sucker for blue eyes, but love those big brown puppy dog eyes as well). I’ve dated assertive alpha males as well as submissive beta types. I’ve dated older guys as well as younger guys. I’ve been with the man-whores, the commitment phobes and the ones who can’t wait to put a label and a ring on it. Rich, poor, fat, skinny, outdoorsy, homebody, extrovert, introvert, self-sufficient, guys who still live at home, guys with and without kids, macho, wimpy, nerds and jocks. I’ve dated them all!

At the end of the day, I don’t think type matters as much as core compatibility. If you click and you’re having fun, who gives a shit if he/she fits some stupid “type”. Hey, if you’re looking for “the one” maybe you haven’t found them yet because you’re so caught up in dating a specific type.

Mix it up. Try something new.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain so go for it!


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  1. I was so convinced that I wanted a certain type of guy before I got married, married him and realized that nope, that wasn’t my time. After my divorce I decided to date anyone who asked so that I can really see what works for me and I found out that really, I just need a couple things – a guy who’s driven and who has a strong personality. The rest depends on the guy. Thanks for a great post!!

    • Ahem Sistah! I did the same thing! I thought I wanted one thing, but being young it turned out that nope, that wasn’t really the right fit. Like you, once I was divorced I dated just about anyone who asked so that I could figure out what I liked and didn’t like. It also took time to find myself and figure out who I was as a person before I really knew what I was looking for in a partner.

  2. Amen! When we go for types, we are going for those idealized images, not real people. So you like hot firefighters? Great, but after the sex, who is that person, and do you really like him? Just saying. Great post!

    • Absolutely! While I think Channing Tatum is hot and would love a love affair with Noah from the Notebook…or how I am a sucker for a man in uniform, but if there’s nothing else besides that idealistic image in my head, then that’s a recipe for disaster and disappointment.

    • It just seems like a silly question to me, but then again I don’t like labels in general. I don’t like to put people into neat little categories. I love how you put it though: Hot male who is smart and good to you. Perfectly put! 😉

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