dating firsts

When you begin dating someone there are bound to be lots of firsts– the first date, the first touch, the first kiss…

Lately, I’ve had some great, and some not so great, first dates. Let’s face it, first dates are like a job interview. You spend all week in your closet (or your favorite store) coming up with the “perfect” outfit. When D-day finally arrives, you spend forever shaving, primping, curling and polishing making sure everything is just-so. You arrive, hopefully on time, and the interview process begins.

As you’re saying your hellos, in your head you are judging each other’s appearance while also worrying about your own. Once the greeting part of the process has passed and the ice has been broken then the real Q&A portion begins! What makes you tick? Are you a sports fan? What do you do for fun? What do you do for a living? Do you enjoy it? When was your last relationship? How long did it last? What type of music are you into? Where do you vacation? Sometimes this portion can be an endless borage of questions and answers. If the chemistry is there this can feel less like an interrogation and more like conversation.

Recently I was on a first date where we just clicked,  maybe not physically at first, but the conversation flowed easily. We had a lot in common, and it was very comfortable despite the fact that this was the first time we had met in person. Over drinks and the Bruins game, we talked for hours about everything…our passions, pet peeves, music, traveling. You name it and we probably discussed it, between cheering on our home team of course! When midnight rolled around I explained that I needed to catch the last train so it was unfortunately time to say goodbye. Neither of us were ready for the night to end so he offered to drive me to my car when I was ready to leave. We stayed until closing. As we walked back to his car, the conversation kept naturally flowing. The night air was damp and chilly and he offered me his coat (so sweet) and put his arm around me (he was so warm). His car was a few blocks away and I of course was wearing stilettos so he offered to piggy back me to his car (again, sweet). He drove as I acted as his GPS (he followed directions very well) and the conversation was still non-stop. We arrived at the train station where my car was parked and he asked if he could see me again. Absolutely! He leaned in, kissed me good night, we said our last goodbyes and each drove off in separate directions. THAT did NOT feel like an interview!

Another recent first date was a little more work. Oh, don’t get me wrong, the physical chemistry was there and it was beyond hot (fabulous, fantastic, amazing kisser!),  but the conversation just didn’t flow as easily. We had a great time dancing and having drinks and like I said, the physical attraction was certainly there, but there wasn’t much else.

So, how what’s a single girl to do? How do you find that perfect balance between physical and intellectual chemistry? And where?! If you’re out there, I’m accepting applications and conducting interviews…

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