OK, let’s face it: exes shape our future relationships. Each relationship, and thus each ex, teaches us something different, not only about ourselves, but about the opposite sex and relationships in general.. We learn what qualities we like and which we are willing to cope with (with the right person). We learn how much of ourselves we are willing to sacrifice, if at all, to be in a relationship with this person.
I’ve been thinking a lot about a recent ex of mine, we’ll call him Jackass. Jackass was my perfect mate in every way but one: he over analyzed EVERYTHING! Now, I’m a very upfront, brutally honest person so, when I met Jackass, I was clear about the fact that my divorce was not final yet and that I have children. He was OK with this and proceeded to ask me out every Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sunday night for two months straight. It was great! We even went on an overnight mini-vacation and had a blast. Everything about our personalities clicked. We had similar interests, but not so similar that we lost our individuality. We met each other’s friends and all clicked. We had similar schedules, which was fantastic. Oh, and the sex was AMAZING!
I should have seen the signs saying “run NOW” about 2 weeks into dating this guy. He’d make little comments about how great I was and how perfect we are for each other and then he’d pull away and start critically over analyzing things between us. I would stroke his ego and reign him in by reminding him we hadn’t known each other for that long and hey, let’s just have fun and see where it goes. He agreed and seemed to settle down a bit.
About 6 weeks in, Jackass and I had our first big fight. I had a particularly rough day and was looking forward to seeing him that night. We had our usual short text conversations throughout the day and then that’s when it happened! I was out for a little retail therapy and he lost it in a text message. He started off by canceling plans with me for that night. OK fine, no big deal, even though it really was a big deal because I was having a really horrible day and could’ve used the company. Then he starts on me about how he can’t handle being in a relationship with me. Telling me I’m perfect in every way, but he can’t get past the fact I have an ex and kids. Um, buddy, you knew this from day ONE! Even before date number one, you knew this, I tell him. He says he knows and he feels shitty, but that he’s really starting to have feelings for me and it’s better to end it now before we go any further. OK fine, whatever, Jackass! You just made my horrible day even worse, thanks! Four days later, Jackass decides to text me that he’s sorry. Sorry? Now? After 4 days? Really?? So he calls me and we talk and we ironed everything out, or so I thought. He wanted to see me right away, I explained that I couldn’t see him that night because I was going out of town for a two days for a family event but that he could see me on Saturday night if he was available. He said absolutely, couldn’t wait.
Saturday comes and I make the four hour drive home from the family event, quickly shower and change inbetween texts from Jackass. He gives me the address of where we are meeting for dinner and drinks. OK no problem. I get back in the car to drive and meet him and he calls me. Major blow out number two is about to happen and I don’t even see it coming! He starts by telling me he just had a bad day and an argument with his dad. I listen and then he changes the subject. He starts criticizing my best friend of 20 years telling me how I shouldn’t listen to a word she says, blah, blah, blah, calls her a slut, I freak and he gets really quiet. The next thing I hear is Jackass say “you know what, you don’t wanna meet me tonight. Just turn around.” Are you Freakin serious??!! So now I get pissed and start yelling about how I just drove four hours, showered & changed quickly, got back in the car so I could meet him and he’s picking a fight with me and telling me to go home?! I was livid! I wanted to meet him and kick the shit out of him! Not only did he blindside me once, but now he had done it twice! I told him I was done and that I can’t do this bi-polar bullshit of “are you in or out” every few days and I hung up on him, turned around and went back home.
I was upset for a while about him…but, as Beyonce sings, he “turned out to be the best thing I never had!” Karma’s a bitch Jackass!