‘Tis the season to wed apparently and every wedding has to have the token singles table. Whether your in the wedding or simply attending as a guest, your friend’s and family’s wedded bliss can end up costing you a fortune both financially and to your self-esteem. Being single for these weddings can have you wanting to spend the night at the open-bar drinking your night away.
First, no matter how much women say they want to choose bridesmaids dresses that their friends can wear again, it ain’t gonna happen! Most of them are hideous or just too friggen formal to wear ever again. It sits in the back of the closet, taking up space that could be taken up by clothes that we will actually wear. So ladies, do your friends a favor and let them pick the dress that suits their budget as long as it’s the color you want it to be.
If you are so lucky (and I say that with all sarcasm intended) as to be chosen to be in the wedding party, get ready to anty up a pretty hefty sum of cash because even the most basic of brides is likely going to have a bridal shower and a bachelorette party, both of which it is your duty as an attendant to not only help plan, but help pay for…plus a gift! Plus your wedding attire, plus getting your hair done on the big day and getting the happy couple a wedding gift! Are you seeing all of the $$$$ in your head yet?
I just attended a wedding as a guest, which can also be pricey; at a golf club on the south shore,a beautiful place for a Saturday night wedding in June. Every word of that last sentence should have had you making the “cha-ching” sound in your head as you read it. Formal! After spending $169 on my dress, this single-girl-on-a-budget had to cut corners somewhere without it looking like I did. I went to DSW and bought shoes for $10 (score!) which were marked down from $65. I then went to my favorite accessory store Downtown and purchased earrings that matched exactly for $1.99… no one knew!
Aside from finances, we singles have a special bullshit we have to deal with when it comes to weddings: the nudge and wink from the married fucks who keep telling us,” you’re next.” Listen, unless you want us nudging and winking at you when we are at a funeral or while we’re standing outside watching the neighbors possessions get repossessed after a nasty divorce, don’t fuckin’ pull this shit with us at weddings, OK?
Weddings can be a lot of fun, but they can also be a huge headache, even when you’re not the one getting married. If you’re single this wedding season, don’t let anyone give you a hard time about it. Give them a nice Fuck You and own your single status!
Be confident, be calm… be fuckin’ fabulous!