Do The Little Details Make A Big Difference?

little details

little details


On a first date, or even at the very beginning phase of dating someone new, you’re both full of questions and trying to get to know this new person. Where did you grow up? Do you have siblings? What do you do for work? But what about the little details? What about knowing the person’s favorite color? Favorite book or movie?

How important are the little details about your partner in a relationship?

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how little Mr. Sports Fan and I really know about each other. Sure, we know the big things (like the things listed in this Quiz or this list), but I’m talking about the little details about each other. He’s pretty good at reading my moods, and I his. We each know about the others childhood, family dynamics, funny stories and mischief we’ve been involved in. We know each others’ birthday (mostly because we are exactly 2 years and 1 month apart) But is that enough?

While we do share details about our past selves with each other, what about the little details? He doesn’t know my favorite book (To Kill A Mockingbird), movie (Grease), color (purple), flower (sterling roses), smell (fresh gardenias)… nor do I know his. But does that really matter right now?

Maybe it’s just me, but those little details seem so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. But then again, what do I know?! After all, I’m just a commitment-phobic single girl who unintentionally fell into a relationship with an equally commitment-phobic man. Besides, we have plenty of time to learn these things about each other.

Your turn: Do you think the little details are important in a relationship? Why or why not? If yes, how important are they?


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  1. II think in some ways it is important, but in other ways not so much. I guess if he wanted to surprise you with your favorite flowers, it is. But over time I do think that eventually you do get to know those little things about one an other.

    • Jeri I agree. I guess I’m just not someone who places extreme importance on such minor things. Like Suzie said, I think that the communication between us is far more important than what we communicate about. We discuss the big stuff, the big details, the important stuff that has shaped our lives.But all of the minute details just seem trivial in the grand scheme of things.

    • Neely, I love and appreciate the little things in life, but I didn’t mean the little gestures. I agree that those small acts of random kindness that express how you feel are important in any relationship. I was talking more about those little details about each other. Simple things like favorite color, favorite smell, least favorite cartoon character… haha… know what I mean?

  2. Good question … but could these just be the things that you get to know over time? I mean is it really THAT important? It’s nice that they make an effort to know your favorite things but your relationship together, how you interact, your communication is more important in my opinion.

    • Thanks for the comment Suzie. I agree that these little details can be learned over time and that in the grand scheme of a relationship, they are not THAT important.

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